Fifty Years Ago Today

Today marks TLOML’s and my 50^th wedding anniversary.  It’s been easy for me; she has served her time in Purgatory while still on earth. 😉

Our extended families are well aware that of all of the thousands of eloquent descriptions of love and marriage one can find, I consider the best characterization of a successful relationship that which Sylvester Stallone had Rocky offer, when describing Rocky’s relationship with Talia Shire’s Adrian, in the film, Rocky: 

“I don’t know … it fills gaps, I guess; she’s got gaps, I got gaps – together, we fill gaps ….”

We have been blessed with a wonderful family of whom we are inordinately proud and with the opportunity to make the most of the talents that the Almighty gave us.  Although we were committed to each other a number of years before we finally married, we are obviously not the kids who left the church in a blizzard of rice so many years ago; we’ve been blessed that we’ve grown together, have been able to work together through the challenges we’ve faced.  I think that it’s fair to say that over these many years, we have celebrated each other’s strengths, and compensated for each other’s weaknesses (the gaps have been mine).  (TLOML is fond of saying, “It takes two sets of eyes.”)  Our differences have enriched us rather than constrained us; in difficult times we’ve cherished each other.  I vividly recall that within the first couple of years after we were married, when the house we lived in was being deluged by a gushing thunder storm, we realized that the window wells on different sides of the house were overflowing and that water was spilling into the basement; with the stupidity of youth, we decided – with the thunder and lightning continuing LOUD, repeated, and RIGHT overhead — that the most important thing was to stop the basement from flooding.  We each ran out with a bucket to a different window well to bail it out.  The lightning strikes continued, some seemingly hitting RIGHT in our backyard.  Did we go in?  Nah.  But after every close strike, we would each race to the edge of the house and look to see that the other was okay – and then we’d go back to bailing 😊.  We always knew where the other was.  Although throughout the decades we have sometimes been engaged in very different aspects of our life endeavor, we have always been working toward the same goal.  We’ve not always been in the same place, but we’ve never been apart.  Our priorities – what we most valued – have always been aligned.  By pure miracle, we turned out to be hand in glove.  No one who’s ever been in a successful relationship will forget the thrill of the initial sparks, but it is the enduring flame they ignite that sustains for a lifetime.  We are acutely aware how fortunate we are; we well know that many people – good, well-meaning people – have not been as favored as we have been.

It has been my honor to officiate at a number of weddings over the years.  Given the importance I place on marriage, I consider these honors to have been among the most important of my life.  When officiating, you try, based upon your understanding of the couple, to put together sentiments that will most resonate with them.  A passage that I have come across in my reading, that I have rarely quoted during these ceremonies because it doesn’t fit exactly when celebrating the start of a couple’s life adventure, seems most appropriate for us today:

“The man or woman you really love will never grow old to you.  Through the wrinkles of time, through the bowed frame of years, you will always see the face, and feel the heart, of your eternal love.”

Even in this politically fraught time in our nation, one’s personal relationships are what matter most.  For all of you in love now or in the future, we wish for you what we have – in length if possible, but more importantly, in depth. 

Have a wonderful day.